Filter Out the Negativity
When working on teams with diverse groups of people it is inevitable to come across a Negative Nelly, Fearful Franny or Angry Adam. The truth is that has nothing to do with you. Their bad day doesn't need to become yours and yet we often take it on. Instead consider filtering out the noise, the negativity, the not helpful and move on. The worst thing you can do is let it stick and carry that unproductive emotion around with you for the rest of your day.
That isn't to say we should ignore negative or constructive feedback (that is a whole other subject, addressed in this PM Mindset challenge). The challenge here is to filter out the emotion from the message to get at the actual facts and then decide what to do from there. This is about recognizing when you are letting others’ fear, anxiety, anger, disappointment shape your meeting, your day, your week and sometimes, if you aren’t careful, even your career.
Here is a simple example, imagine you are leading a meeting and Fearful Franny or Angry Adam pipe up to share their fears and frustrations…maybe both. What do you do?
Remain calm – easier said than done I know, but absolutely critical. Just breathe and be aware of your body’s physical responses and your outward body language.
Begin filtering – are there any facts or possible facts that we as a team need more information about? If so redirect attention to those facts.
Take Action – if there are important facts for consideration and possible action, note it and either table it for follow-up or address it now. Lead everyone's focus away from the emotion by returning to facts. If the emotion is still running you (you accidentally took it on – hey it happens) and/or it was extreme and there is no returning to your productive agenda, simply excuse everyone and reschedule.
Move on – Once you've filtered out any relevant facts (and sometimes there aren't any) then move on and do not look back with a reminder that you are not responsible for people's emotions, just your actions. Remaining calm and being respectful, even if they are not, is a good way to offer support to someone struggling. If you can exude calm, you will have your team’s confidence in leading the project forward, making life easier for everyone.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't help people in need, if you see someone hurting and you feel it in your heart to help them, please try to do so but do it privately, one-on-one. The best thing you can do for everyone in the moment is redirect attention away from the negative emotion towards productive, realistic action.
To Recap
If someone tries taking the meeting or discussion off the rails with unproductive negativity, lead the group back on course by:
Remaining calm
Begin filtering
Taking realistic, positive action
Moving on
“Be the Rock. Stay positive but realistic. Mood swings exhaust everyone. ”